Bratz Packz

My favorite new band is better than your favorite new band

A quick post on an emerging obsession: I had no idea that the Bratz line had a full CD of material available. I was tipped off by a short piece in the Voice a few weeks ago, and got around to some light snooping when articles for Buzzsaw fell through. I'm doing a brief overview of "manufactured" bands, and will try to distinguish between maligned artists lumped into this category unfairly (Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson, Hilary Duff) and genuinely manufactured acts who make no claim to authorship (Bratz, Zetta Bytes, Crazy Frog).

My argument is that distinction between the former and latter category, though frequently ignored as an excuse to dismiss (predominately female, hm) artists, is essentially a moot point. The level of "manufacturedness" inherent in an artist's or group's output is, like aesthetic criticism, a subjective judgement -- even presupposing that the word "manufactured" itself doesn't need to be more adequately defined, which it does.

This is a pretty simple argument, and one that seems to be ignored by most of the people who challenge my (admittedly quick) change of heart in musical taste. To explain that transition specifically:

1) don't act like you know me, jerkz, maybe I always loved this kind of music and was living a lie or overcompensating for my nerdishness during adolescence (not quite true, but I'll throw it out there);

2) there is no ideological social, political, or economic ground anyone could stand on to bash, say, Ashlee Simpson and defend the latest indie heatseeking Sub Pop artist (who falls under the SAME corporate umbrella as everyone else on Warner Records) -- let's admit this is an argument about aesthetics (not lip synching, "authenticity" in performance or songwriting, or the nature of art); and

3) if I didn't listen to that boring Wolf Parade/Decemberists/Bloc Party album enough to explain WHY I'd rather kick myself in the teeth than listen to it all the way through again (OK, I'm exaggerating), I wouldn't bring the point up in conversation. ESPECIALLY as a means to mock or dismiss someone else's opinion via an unsolicited personal attack. Just sayin'.

Wow, that felt good. Anyway, back to Bratz. From what I've heard of it, which is very little (thank you iTunes store, you stupid stupid piece of stupid stupid inaccessible shit), I like it a lot. The ballads remind me of the first half of Pixel Perfect, and the more upbeat rock reminds me of the metal-gum teen pop I like (some of the new Ashlee falls into this category, sort of, as do the two songs from Into the Rush that don't make me angry). Wait, did I just coin the phrase metal-gum (a.k.a. bubblecore, heavy bubble, gummy metal, nu-bubble, diabetic-comacore)? Eat your heart out, freak-folk!



Bratz fun fact courtesy of Kiley: Bratz PEZ dispensers have torsoes, adolescent bosom included. Is there any precedent for this? I was pretty sure PEZ had a strict no-torso policy for precisely these kinds of underage T&A-related reasons...

More on all of this later. Any suggestions for overlooked "manufactured" acts who are not necessarily baby-killing dog rapists because they didn't write their own songs? Use the comments, that's what they're for!!

Also, site counter update: Aly and AJ fans are quickly surpassing actual bedbug sufferers as my key demographic. HEY EVERYBODY, YOUR FAVORITE BAND SUCKS AND THOSE BITES AREN'T GOING AWAY FOR A WHILE!

QUESTION OF THE DAY:



Why is this baby's midriff exposed, and why is she wearing so much makeup?