Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thursdays Are My Days for Thinking.

Er, sitting around doing very few productive sorts of things.

I HAVE THOUGHTS ON NE-YO: New album is megaboring. But he loses the most points on "Why Does She Stay," in which he says "She hates that I don't do dishes / Even though I mess up the most." Look, Ne-Yo. We need to talk. I understand this song is about how she loves you through it all and blah blah blah. Whatever. But YOU HAVE TO DO THE FUCKING DISHES. That's your job. I bet she cooks everything for you. I bet you don't even help her peel the potatoes. I bet you don't even get out the dishes as she's going to serve your dumb ass. So put on a few tunes, let her finish her wine, and wash a dish. It's just not that hard. Harvey Pekar was bad at doing the dishes, too, always fucked them up. But damn it he did them! She will leave you for this, eventually, forgiving though she may be. I mean, I'd break up with you because you're just boring boring boring boring boring boring. BORING. Like, I'd rather do the dishes in silence than do them to this album. Because at least I can hum more interesting songs to myself. Seriously, Ne-Yo, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?????

I HAVE THOUGHTS ON JAZMINE SULLIVAN: Good album! Second half stronger than the first, which is a bit all over the place -- don't get the appeal of the first single at all, "Bust Your Windows" is nice but feels like a false start, the revenge fantasy is weird and a little disturbing, but not for the reasons it thinks it is. Right, domestic violence is clearly a "him or me" situation. There is no one in the world who can help you, so you have to help yourself. Ummmmmmmmmm....

But the second half is great, out-ballads Leona Lewis with "After the Hurricane," Daft Punk sampling hook par excellence in "Dream Big." And then there's "Fear," which is kinda sorta my favorite song on here. Those lyrics, in full:

I'm scared to try cuz im scared to fail
I'm scared to die cuz im scared of hell
I'm scared to kiss scared to hug
I'm scared of sex cuz I'm scared to touch

I'm scared to look cuz I'm scared to see
I'm scared of you cuz I'm scared of me
I'm scared to fly cuz I'm scared to crash
I'm scared to move on so I live in the past

I'm scared to fight cuz I'm scared to bleed
I'm scared of love cuz I'm scared he'll leave
I'm scared of drugs I'm scared to drink
I'm scared to swim cuz I'm scared to sink

I'm scared to learn cuz I'm scared of truth
Don't wanna gain weight cuz I'm scared of food
I'm scared to think that the label dropped me
I'm scared to think of my album floppin...

This may sound silly but its true
So don't pretend it ain't you too
We all afraid of something here
Cuz you ain't human with out fear

Im scared to start cuz I'm scared I'll quit
I'm scared that people wont like my shit
I'm scared of fame and paparazzi
Rumors starting the people watching

Scared to grow up cuz I'm scared to get old
Scared of the dark and being alone
Scared of war and I'm scared of jail
Scared to share a secret cuz I'm scared you'll tell


As Lex notes, there's a pretty huge disconnect between the total paranoia/paralysis in the lyrics and the "jauntiness" of the track.

Also, a few weird points: (1) fear is an emotional reaction that makes us animal, not uniquely human, though she's technically right that you ain't human without fear (though this abstract I just googled suggests that you could reduce fear responses by manipulating the prefrontal cortex). And (2), she's scared to gain weight THEREFORE she's scared of food, not "because," right? How would you even make this work the other way around?

If it wasn't obvious by now, Jazmine is totally nuts. Her album is great, too!


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