Willa Ford c. 1999
Which, unfortunately, missed its one and only shot at a theme day on this blog. Because I will never write about this again.
1) Why do I hate Pokemon so much?
2) Why do I love the Pokemon soundtrack so much?
I'll avoid the first question (it's basically moot point now anyway...right?) and focus on the second. I finally got this stupid CD after like three weeks, and I'm listening the crap out of it for the following reasons:
1) M2M - Don't Say You Love Me. Not their best song, but one of their best. It's also where they got their start, meaning back in 1999 when I was listening to...what, Rage Against the Machine? Sublime? Six-year-olds were cooler than me. Which might have been true anyway. The vocals are mega-pixie (once upon a time Marit CARRIED Marion! That soon changed, but Marit has finally exacted her revenge with, oh what the hell, best album of the year. That I've heard, anyway, which I guess isn't saying much [except it is, because Under the Surface is incredible]).
Where the hell did this song even come from? Tweenish Kylie vocals (pre-Fever), the sharp acoustic guitar riff that Hoku and No Secrets and everyone else would jack and stick to Britney backing beats, indistinguishable vocal trade-off with Marit definitely leaving the more significant impression. "Don't say you love me/ You don't even know me/ If you really want me then give me some time"...just holding hands in the movie theater and this idiot starts pushin' too hard. Why did Avril & co. have to go and drag the subtext of this scenario to the surface kicking and screaming? Yes, she's saying I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK YOU, take a hint. And no, don't bother either M with the M-word, it's about having a good time, why don't you boys understand??? Chauvinists or pipsqueaks? Or both? As fragile as Marit (and maybe Marion, she barely registers on this song) sounds, you still get the feeling she's about to kick this schmuck's ass in front of the whole matinee audience.
2) Mandah? No, Willa Ford. Now seeking: Willa Was Here, 2001. Whatever happened to...
While only two months through, 2006 appeared to be an already bright year for Willa. In February, Willa was featured in the March 2006 issue of Playboy Magazine, where she appeared in a nude pictorial. In February Willa also played in the third annual Lingerie Bowl playing quarterback for the team Dallas Desire, as well as singing lead for The Pussycat Dolls in Las Vegas
...Oh. Who will preserve the history of teen pop in the past decade? It's getting incinerated with 1984 precision. Willa was here, people! Who's going to put her in the history books?
I really can't imagine my debut single being bookended by JIGGLY PUFF. "Lullaby" is decent "Genie in a Bottle" R&B. I'm more interested in how many artists launched or seriously developed their careers on the soundtrack to a film about POKEMON.
Why couldn't I have been an 11-year-old girl with suburban 'tude in 1999? GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE! Acting like one now is causing me to LOSE FRIENDS AT AN ALARMING RATE. But it's just 'cuz I'm finally cooler than all of them.
3) Vitamin C - Vacation. My god this song is good. It reminds me that I need a vacation. Please listen to it. Originally heard this at Bubblegum Machine, which I might make my homepage. Since I don't seem to read, like, the news anymore.
4) Angel Via - Catch Me If You Can. This song should not work. And it doesn't, but that it comes close is pretty impressive. Would that the Lovemarks wrote a jingle this catchy for [insert product]. (NSA: Gotta catch 'em all!) Since Angel Via is not on Wikipedia, I'll assume for the time being that she doesn't actually exist.
5) Aaron Carter takes it to the street and has a modicum of fun with the funk. His first album technically pre-dates this appearance, but "Aaron's Party" was still a year away when this was released. He also reminds me that I need a vacation, although he suggests a "permanent" one. Don't go too overboard there -- I could see Aaron leading a Heaven's Gate cult.
And as I just spent about a half hour searching for an article very articulately describing how well the boy band sound has aged -- something about how as an archaic or dated "sound" as opposed to total aural saturation, the sound of early 00s pop actually takes on a weirdly affecting quality. Like a time capsule. But you know, more articulate. I thought it was this great weekly feature over at Stylus, but after looking through it what felt like FIFTEEN times, I might be wrong.
Anyway, I agree with whatever point was made. Which isn't to say I particularly like any of the boy band material here, just that it sounds more of a genre and a moment less of an overwhelming mass culture conspiracy, which is how I felt at the time. One thing I like about 2006 by comparison, or maybe how I feel in 2006, the relationship between music and market seems more transparent. Me in 2000: *NSYNC ARE TOTAL SELLOUTS PASS THE RADIOHEAD PLEASE. Me in 2006: Jack White Coca-Cola ad? Whatever, needs a better hook (don't quit yer day job, Jack). 98 degrees still sounds pretty lame.
Have I convinced you to purchase this soundtrack? How about this: IT COSTS A PENNY. What an ironic mode of resistance to the record industry...just wait a few months and they won't see a dime! Shh, don't tell anyone I told you.
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