SKYE SWEETNAM THINKS CHEYENNE KIMBALL SUCKS

YES SHE DOES.

No Skye news surfacing, she's presumably still yukkin' it up with Dr. Luke and Mad Max in L.A. So if the street date for the album is Oct. 3, that makes the single due...um, nowish. GET WITH THE PROGRAM PEOPLE.

Since no pictures with Skye + Luke + Max together are available, you'll have to edit Skye into this picture:



So why doesn't Skye Sweetnam like Cheyenne Kimball?

1. Because Cheyenne thinks that playing the guitar and co-writing her own songs is in and of itself a notable achievement, even when the songs the guitar is playing SUCK SUCK.

2. Because her song "One Original Thing" seems to disparage so-called "assembly-pop" while being a PALE IMITATION of the same. Which I figured out when I got the Aquamarine OST but in album context it's even clearer.

3. Because her reality show on MTV looks boring.

4. Because her new album sucks.

5. Because she is a rockist and probably has terrible taste in music.

6. Because she sucks WAY worse than Skye, who DOES NOT SUCK, and in fact NEGATIVE-SUCKS, which is to say NOT AT ALL, which is actually positive!

7. Because she wants everyone to know she wrote her own songs and it SOUNDS like she wrote them because they are AWFUL. But in fact she DIDN'T write her own songs all by her lonesome, and Kara what the hell are you doing on this album? Oh, getting paid for like second or third or fourth shelf. Lyrics are duller than Avril, and at least she had cool guitar parts, but Cheyenne has to play those too (allegedly) and can't even do that right! And I bet she didn't even play the guitar, I bet they got people to play and said "wait wait make it sound like some boring ass wannabe angst-rocker played that her very own self. It's too old, it's too good."

8. Because Stephen Thomas Erlewine likes this, even though Cheyenne Kimball is the Sufjan Stevens of teenpop!!!!!!


...Hold on a second, do you mean to tell me there's a Veronicas bonus track that actually makes reference to THE OTHER SISTER? (Not the Juliette Lewis movie...)

Look out brother, she's my sister/ Ain't stopped crying since you kissed her

Now, this could be the first lyric in the greatest song they've ever done. Unfortunately, the theme goes unexamined and the song gets stuck in a rut. Which is to say, it's kimballed, straight from the heart.



YOU CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC ON THE INTERNET NOW?

Veronicas - A Teardrop Hitting the Ground (YSI only)