I decided that tonight, this very Saturday night, would be the first night of my record collection excursion (Kill Me, Kill Me, Kill Me). I filled out my ALBUMS LIST and numbered it (1 through...964?! I'm sure I've never even listened to half of these...) and crammed the list into a reasonable number of pages with imaginative use of margins and spacing and columns and such.
And then I found this nifty random number generator and set my formula and was all set to go.
I said, DISH IT OUT, O RANDOM UNIVERSE! I WILL LISTEN TO BRUCE HAACK OR SONGS OF THE HUMPBACK WHALE OR HALFCOCKED OR CAPTAIN BEEFHEART OR RAMSEY LEWIS! I WILL LISTEN TO ARCHERS OF LOAF OR WILLA FORD OR BILL EVANS OR TWELVE RODS! I WILL LISTEN TO CORBIN BLEU IF THAT IS WHAT YOU TELL ME TO DO! TONIGHT I AM YOURS!
It paused thoughtfully, and after that thoughtful moment it said to me, in no uncertain terms, "YOU WILL LISTEN TO ALBUM #705."
I said to the Random Universe, "THANK YOU!"
I scanned the page. As it turned out, #705 was Autobiography by Ashlee Simpson.
I'm not sure when I'll be coming back.
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