WTF I WAS TAKING A NAP

But I was awoken!

Here are two projects I'm going to be working on:

(1) Writing a book for the 33 1/3 series on Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography that won't be submitted to the series (because they won't want it) and will be read by only a handful of people I email it to. If I actually write it, which I might not.

(2) Using a RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR to systematically listen to every CD I've ever bought and writing a blurb about each one ON THIS VERY BLOG. I'm tentatively calling it: KILL ME, KILL ME, KILL ME: A Journey to the End of Taste, If by "Taste" You Mean An Approximation of My Tastes as Suggested by My CD Collection, Which Will Be Taken to Be Somewhat Representative but by No Means Exhaustive Since There Are Plenty of Albums That I Have Heard by Downloading Them or Borrowing Them from Friends or Libraries or Doing That AOL Streaming Album Thing which Incidentally Is Why I'll Never Have to Pay Money for Ashley Tisdale's Album Even If I Did Pay Actual Money No Foolin' for This Corbin Bleu Piece of Crap That Admittedly Has Like Two OK Songs on It.

Here are some projects I refuse to work on:

(1) Talking about the "black music" and the "white music" BECAUSE ARCADE FIRE SWINGS BABY (second section of "Wake Up" dumbos THERE GOES YOUR ARGUMENT BOOYA).

(2) Talking about the Arcade Fire, even when exploring their oeuvre to find just one drop of non-cubicle blood.

(3) Talking about Ashley Tisdale, except in the comments section, where I will be more than happy to talk about Ashley Tisdale.

(4) Figuring out how I can make a silly pun out of "Journey to the End of Taste." So far I've only thought of "Journey to the Taste of End," but I think I come out of it as a bit of a kiss-ass.

(5) Worrying about where all my fave blogs went :(

(6) Fretting.

(7) Masterminding PhillyCatShare for people who, like me, need a TEMP CAT for therapeutic reasons.

(8) Writing a song about DISHES because at least two exist that I am aware of.

(9) Posting all my juiciest DIRT where y'all can't see it.

(10) Wait, scratch 9.

(11) Figuring out things to do on Friday nights. I have important things to do that are very important.

(12) FRETTING but this time about something totally different.

(13) Changing back the Bedbugs lay-out. I don't want to appear cowardly.