Needs Less Cow Belle

Amazing as it looks?

Lip service to the most predictable Disnee move ever: Aly and AJ have their own TV movie now.

Aly and AJ will find out how to work for a living...in a dairy! They drop their cell phone in the yogurt! They spill what could be blueberry syrup or calf's blood all over their clean white uniforms! Hilarity ensues! But!

But trouble brews when someone empties the company's bank accounts and now, the sisters must put aside their pampered existence to save the business and their father's reputation.

THPTH. A truly pathetic cross-platformer...couldn't these gals land Aquamarine or something? There doesn't even seem to be an original soundtrack..."On the Ride" is being recycled from Into the Rush, likely to pave the way for yet another single eking onto the Radio Disney Top 30.

Which reminds me, while perusing the current RD playlist (based on eligible Top 30 candidates), I notice that not only do Aly and AJ have ELEVEN songs in rotation, but at least one of them ("Sticks and Stones") is, uh, lyrically problematic. Remember, kids, in the end YOU'LL be the victim, and when you reach for help there will be NO ONE! NO ONE!!!!!!


Aly and AJ to fans: SLEEP TIGHT!

In other crazee cross-platformin' news, I didn't realize Brie Larson was both starring in and contributing a track to the soundtrack of Hoot, which has Jimmy Buffett performing "Werewolves of London" and "Barefootin'" with Alan Jackson (?), meaning this is in the running for weirdest soundtrack of the week.

Pre-emptive warning to any film reviewer who makes a pun on "hoot" in the title or body of his or her review of this film. I will be keeping track and writing your names in blood in a future post.

And now, to remember a more idyllic time when teen poppers just teen popped and no one needed a REASON to appropriate cheesy cowboy kitsch, I present a song that features cheesy cowboy kitsch for no discernible reason whatsoever. Yes, it's Steps; no, they never made a TV movie. They could barely handle their music videos! (Admittedly, H starred in some kind of reality show.)

...Special SPRING BREAK! shout out to Emily, who as of yet has not been cross-platformed.

Steps - 5,6,7,8

SPRING BREAK! SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT SONG

The Mattoid - Party Time