Rap Narcissus

What was that you were saying about a middle-aged puppetmaster?

1. Column finished, basically, and drastically different than it began (had to get those first couple thousand words outta my system, I guess). It's now called "The Tween Trap." Nicked Tom Breihan's Venn diagram metaphor. It's now much lighter and more like a series of musings about the "between zone" aging teenpoppers inhabit, discussing a few possible reasons why they're so trapped there and how they might get themselves untrapped.

2. And speaking of that diagram, doing some googling in prep for the column (and to see what Scott Storch looks like after reading this kinda incredible article about him), and I find this:

Paris Hilton and her spoiled worthless friends have lashed out at Lindsay Lohan once again in front of the cameras in a repeat performance of the infamous episode when Paris stood giggling by the side of Brandon Davis as he repeatedly called Lohan "firecrotch", among other things. The latest incident took place Friday night at an In-N-Out burger in West Hollywood after a Justin Timberlake concert at the House of Blues. Paris, her sister Nikki, Brandon Davis and Scott Scorch - the producer of her album - were overheard by photographers uttering “firecrotch”.

(A photographer asked) "What did you say about firecrotch?" Storch replied "We're actually celebrating firecrotch day." As Storch and Paris got in the vehicle which sported bright red interior, he added "We even have firecrotch interior for the occasion." A photographer then asked "Did you get the interior done for firecrotch?" Storch promptly responded "Yes we did, in special honor of her freckled puss." Paris, who smiled during the entire exchange, could not contain her giggles with Storch's parting shot.

Yeesh, reminds me that there are aspects of this tabloid stuff I just really can't touch with a ten-foot pole. I'll hang out in my "stay inside and eat yogurt" circle. (Scott Storch seems to enjoy that circle too, but he smokes a buncha J's instead of eating yogurt.)

3. Also watched "Lohan Holiday" (no, not that one), which is quite slimy. But I laughed at the ringtone.

4. Haven't heard anything about DaHv in a while, looking forward to new songs ("Mean Girls" has an honorary spot somewhere around #25 or 30 for the year). Recently posted this bit on her MySpace:

This week I wrote a new song called "Narcissist" ...I like it ..pretty cool....maybe I'll record it next month...or a piece of it....I've written so many songs this past year...it's hard to choose which one I want to record...YIKES!

Ladies and gentlemen, we may have the novelty rap Skye Sweetnam on our hands. Except that Skye very well might do some novelty rap on her new album, so who knows.

5. And speaking of Myspace, I'm trying to put together another Mypsace post soon, but I've got a huge back log of "friends" and most of 'em...uh, will not be appearing.